Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood®
Listen Before You Talk!
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
— Stephen R. Covey
Why Is Listening Essential to a Family?
List as many words as you can in 30 seconds related to the word family. The goal is for everyone in your family to list as many of the same words as possible. You get one point for each word every member of your family has in common, but you can’t discuss the word or share your answers until time is up. If there are family members who can’t write, have them team up with a parent.
Steps
I listen to others without interrupting.
I listen to other people’s ideas and feelings.
I look other people in the eye when listening and talking.
I try to see things from other people’s viewpoints.
Common Language
Point of view
Attitude
Reflective listening
How many points did you get? Why do you think you got the score you did? Repeat the activity using the word love.
How many points did you get this round?
Was your score higher?
Why is it difficult to get a high score?
We all see the world differently. The problem is, we think we see things the same way others do. Communication is important to achieve understanding because no two people see, think, or experience the world in the same way. Therefore, there is a great need, especially in families, to seek first to understand and talk second so we understand one another’s point of view.
Leader in Me®
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